Before the technical journey begins
Where to even start. I guess what do I mean by “technical journey”? When I say this I am referring to before we are stepping foot on the plane to South East Asia.
This journey feels like it started a long time ago. I’ve always loved adventuring and traveling to new places but it never felt like an actual option outside of an extended vacation here and there. It felt very out of reach. Very cliche, I know. But to make the cliche more cliche, it truly didn’t feel like an option until I met Iz. For those of you who have not had the distinct pleasure of meeting Isabelle Graham, that is a huge bummer for you and I hope for your sake you get to meet that amazing human within your lifetime. Hopefully I can describe in the slightest what I mean when I say SHE is the reason this all feels like a possibility in the first place.
With some thought, I suppose this story begins with a conversation we had in August 2023. We were sitting in her room (which was soon to become our room if you know that story lol) and she asked me about my plans after finishing my time at Western. I had some generic answer about how I didn’t entirely know yet but I knew I wanted to move and I would have to move somewhere I could go to grad school, because that's what people do. I distinctly remember her asking me if that’s actually what I wanted to do and she didn’t mean it in a “you want to go to grad school?” way, she meant it in a “you want to do what ‘people do’?” kind of way. The conversation continued into a long conversation about traveling and dream destinations to live one day, etc. A topic we had been constantly discussing since we first met. But that question stuck with me. I didn’t want to “do what people do” just to do it… what bullshit way to live is that? Doing something just because that's what people do? Not even what people want to do, but just because that's what they do.
When you ask a little kid what they want to be when they grow up they tell you what they will be, not what they wish they could be. That shift happens later in life somewhere, that’s some whole other kind of sad ‘to be had another time’ kind of conversation. But the reverse shift happened for me in that conversation with Izzy. So, we started to talk about not moving to some city together that I could go to school in (because in the good classic lesbian fashion we obviously knew we were going to be living together by then, after only 1 month of dating) but instead we talked about what countries we could explore and what those logistics looked like. In those conversations at some point it shifted from a “should we do this?” to a “we’re doing this”.
Since we kicked into the “we’re doing this” gear it’s been a whole journey on its own. Working multiple jobs to save money, buying our one way tickets to Thailand, watching videos and reading books on everything from how much money we really need to what things to know to be not only safe but smart in different countries, and what the hell you pack for an unknown amount of time in SE Asia with nothing but a 40L backpack. All of this while also dealing with packing up Izzy’s home of 4 years, ours of 1 year, moving everything into a storage unit (…well Brian did that part actually…Thanks Brian!), dealing with being screwed over at the last second in our housing and having to scramble for a plan for the entirety of September, commuting an hour to work at times, me currently being sick in the middle of our third move of september, etc. etc. (LOL one of those etc. was right after I drafted this post my car got towed and it cost me $600 to get that boat back, so that was fun too) Anyways, just experiencing speed bump after speed bump. But, nothing seems to shake us. During this time instead of seeing the chaos and inconvenience that most of this was (obviously we had our moments), I see the generosity of our village to provide home and safety for us, the sweetness of the fur babies we got to hangout with in various homes, the luxury that 2 out of 3 places we stayed had not only in unit but a heated toilet seat??? (Crazy but true), the overwhelming generosity of those who have helped fund parts of this adventure, the pride in the flexibility and adaptability we showed in moments of change, and the stability and feeling of home that I feel with my incredible partner.
And this is all “before the technical journey”? Now comes the hardest part. Saying (yes temporary but still sad) goodbyes to the ones I love, finding time to see all of my most important people before starting a wonderfully new and terrifying chapter of constant change, consisting of so many beautiful things to come but at the cost of mass distance from my home and loved ones. I know that these last few weeks here are going to be the hardest by far. Coming to terms that this will be my first birthday without my friends, my first thanksgiving without my family, the fact that I am the long distance friend and daughter for this next chapter, and so many other things. Yet, I am so grateful to have a village to miss while I am gone, to get to experience my birthday in a different country, to have family that is willing to come visit me on the other side of the world, and I am tremendously grateful to not only have the person I love with me through the hard days of being homesick and missing my village but to also have the person that makes me feel at home no matter where we are there through what I am sure will be some of the most incredible experiences of our lives.
In these last few weeks, I will be focusing my intention on being present with those I love, being aware but not frightened by the amount of time I have left here, and grounding within myself and my relationship to practice the tool of resourcing my own sense of home from within myself no matter where I am in the world.
Thanks for checking in on how this journey is going <3
I love and miss you!
Luna